Thursday, June 28, 2012

Show Those Feelings -- and Reactions!


by Jodie Renner, freelance editor       


One of the main reasons I put down a book is because it seems flat to me, the characters cardboard cutouts, the protagonist bland, bored and boring, or even cold and unfeeling. If the characters don’t seem to care about others or react to what’s happening to them, why should I?

Most fiction is character-driven, and to get into the story, we need to be able to identify closely with the protagonist. And we won’t do that unless they have some warmth and determination and hopes and dreams and insecurities and fears – and react to things! Then we feel and react too, along with them, and start to worry about them and cheer for their small victories. Once you have your readers fretting about your hero and rooting for him, they’re hooked. 

As Jack M. Bickham says, “Fiction characters who only think are dead. It is in their feelings that the readers will understand them, sympathize with them, and care about their plight.” 

So bring your characters to life by showing their deepest fears, worries, frustrations, hopes and jubilations. If readers see your hero pumped, scared, angry or worried, they’ll feel that way, too. And a reader who is feeling strong emotions is a reader who is turning the pages.

Jessica Page Morrell tells us that in fiction, the writer’s main responsibility is to “make the readers care; that is, bring us to tears or outrage or heart-thumping worry. Stories with emotional power engage the reader’s intellect, senses, and emotions as he sees and hears the unfolding action.”

Donald Maass wrote a whole book, The Fire in Fiction, dedicated to putting passion into your writing. In discussing your opening, he says, “Too many manuscripts begin at a distance from their protagonists, as if opening with a long shot like in a movie. That’s a shame. Why keep readers at arm’s length?” 

He continues, “Novels are unique among art forms in their intimacy. They can take us inside a character’s heart and mind right away. And that is where your readers want to be. Go there immediately.”

And emotions take the reader into your story world, too. As Maass says, "It is the combination of setting details and the emotions attached to them that, together, make a place a living thing. Setting comes alive partly in its details and partly in the way that the story's characters experience it." 

So always take time to show the characters’ feelings, thoughts and reactions to what’s happening around them. Don’t let a stimulus go without a response, an action without a reaction. And as your characters respond, so do your readers.

But don’t go overboard with it — you don’t want your protagonist to come across as gushing or hysterical or neurotic. It’s important to strike a balance so the readers want to relate to and empathize with your main character, not get annoyed or disgusted with her and quit reading.

As Morrell says, “Emotions also help propel a story forward, but it’s not easy to strike the exact balance of emotions in each scene. No emotions on the page, no emotions in the reader.” BUT “Melodrama on the page and you inspire indifference in the reader.”

She continues, “Beginning writers often fall into the trap of overdoing with shrillness or silliness. Their characters have hair-trigger tempers and are forever howling in fury, throwing tantrums, and issuing ultimatums. On the flip side, sometimes beginners pen a sob story of misty-eyed sentiments or a way-too-cheerful and saccharine, gee-whillikers tale.”

But you don’t want to have a story that leaves readers “feeling nothing besides shades of boredom.” So how do we strike that balance? How do we as writers find the emotions to bring our characters to life, but also find a happy medium between flat, emotionless characters that bore us and hysterical drama queens who make us cringe?

Morrell advises, “Since emotions are embedded in the human condition, you need to find a way to portray jealousy, betrayal, grief, misery, rage – the whole gamut of strong emotions – with nuance yet believability.” Friends, beta readers and critique groups can be an invaluable help with this.

Jack M. Bickham advises us to consider how we’ve felt in similar circumstances, then over-write first, and revise down later. “I would much prefer to see you write too much of feeling in your first draft; you can always tone it down a bit later…. On the other hand, a sterile, chill, emotionless story, filled with robot people, will never be accepted by any reader.” He counsels writers to “avoid the impulse to play safe.”

Do you have any techniques for bringing out your characters’ reactions and feelings? And for ensuring that you don’t go off the deep end with it?


Resources: 
Jack M. Bickham, The 38 Most Common Fiction Writing Mistakes
Donald Maass, The Fire in Fiction
Jessica Page Morrell, Thanks, But This Isn’t For Us

Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: FIRE UP YOUR FICTION,  CAPTIVATE YOUR READERS, and WRITING A KILLER THRILLER, as well as two clickable time-saving e-resources, QUICK CLICKS: Spelling List and QUICK CLICKS: Word Usage. She has also organized two anthologies for charity: VOICES FROM THE VALLEYS – Stories and Poems about Life in BC’s Interior, and CHILDHOOD REGAINED – Stories of Hope for Asian Child Workers. You can find Jodie on her Amazon Author Page, at www.JodieRenner.com, and on Facebook. 






Monday, June 4, 2012

Style Blunders, and Stimulus-Response

I've got two craft-of-fiction blog posts up today on other blogs. Here's the first, on Elizabeth Craig's awesome blog, Mystery Writing is Murder:

Style Blunders in Fiction—by Jodie Renner

by Jodie Renner, freelance editor, @JodieRennerEd
Style Blunders in Fiction
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No, I’m not talking about the fashion police coming after you. I’m talking about those little errors and bad habits that creep into your manuscript, weaken your message, and add up to an overall feeling of amateurish writing. The good news is that, unlike the more critical creative flow of ideas for plot and characters, these little bad habits are easy to correct, resulting in a much more polished, compelling manuscript.

1. Take out wishy-washy qualifiers, like quite, sort of, almost,...

For all 12 of the tips, with examples, click here.



Also, I've got a blog post up on Crime Fiction Collective today on the topic:
Write stimulus before response, cause before effect, action before reaction:


by Jodie Renner, freelance editor
Have you ever been engrossed in a novel, reading along, then you hit a blip that made you go “huh?” for a nanosecond? Then you had to reread the sentence to figure out what’s going on? Often, it’s because actions are written in a jumbled-up order, rather than the order they occurred. When writing fiction, it’s usually best to show actions and events in chronological order, and to describe the cause first, then the effect. Something happens, then the character reacts to it, not the other way around.

So when showing actions and reactions in your fiction, pay attention to the syntax of the sentence. State the cause before the effect, the action before the reaction, the stimulus before the response. This way, the ideas flow more naturally and smoothly, and the readers don’t have to skip back in the sentence to figure out what’s going on, which confuses them momentarily and takes them out of the story.
As Ingermanson and Economy say in Writing Fiction, “Here’s a critical rule: Always get the time sequence correct and always put the cause before the effect.”
Here are some “before and after” examples, disguised, from my fiction editing....

 For the rest of the article, click here.

Jodie Renner is a freelance editor specializing in thrillers, romantic suspense, mysteries, and other crime fiction. Please check out Jodie’s website and blog, as well as her group blog, Crime Fiction Collective.
Jodie’s craft of fiction articles appear regularly on various blogs, and she has published two popular craft-of-fiction e-books in the series, An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: Writing a Killer Thriller and Style that Sizzles and Pacing for Power.

Both are on sale at Amazon, and you don’t need to own a Kindle to buy and read Kindle e-books – you can download them to your PC, Mac, tablet or smartphone. Style that Sizzles will be out in paperback soon.


 

Saturday, May 26, 2012

My Recent Craft-of-Fiction Articles on Other Blogs

by Jodie Renner, freelance editor
www.JodieRennerEditing.com

Here are some of my craft-of-fiction articles that have appeared in recent months on other blogs:  


CRIME FICTION COLLECTIVE:

Jan. 2, 2012: Don’t Lecture Your Readers

Jan. 10, 2012:  Appeal to the Senses — and Emotions

Jan. 15-16, 2012:  Show Those Feelings – and Reactions!

Feb. 13, 2012: Some Dialogue Don’ts

March 4-5, 2012: Set up Your Story in the First Paragraphs

March 11-12, 2012: It’s All About the Writing

March. 26Tips on Picking up the Pace

April 9 – Cut the Clutter and Streamline Your Writing, Part I

April 23 Cut the Clutter and Streamline Your Writing, Part II

May 7 – Creating a Scene Outline for Your Novel

May 21 - Cut the Clutter and Streamline Your Writing, Part III


D.P. LYLE, MD’S WRITER'S FORENSICS BLOG:

Jan. 11, 2012: Tension on Every Page, Part I

Jan. 14, 2012: Tension on Every Page, Part II

Jan. 2012: Tension on Every Page, Part III

Mar. 8, 2012: Heightening the Suspense, Part I

Mar. 11, 2012: Heightening the Suspense, Part II

Mar. 14, 2012: Heightening the Suspense, Part III

April 2, 2012: Check Your Facts, Ma’am!

May 20, 2012: POV 101: Get into Your Protagonist’s Head

May 23, 2012: POV 102: How to Avoid Head-Hopping  

May 26, 2012: POV 103: Deep Point of View, or Close Third


BLOOD-RED PENCIL BLOGSPOT:

Naming Your Characters


Hyphens, Ellipses and Dashes

Questions for Your Beta Readers

Show Your Setting Through Your POV Character’s Eyes

Expressing Thought-Reactions in Fiction


THE THRILL BEGINS:

Creating a Worthy Antagonist

Thrillers vs. Mysteries

Those Critical First Five Pages

Every Scene Needs Conflict and a Change

The Editing Process: Interview of a Freelance Editor  

Jodie Renner is a freelance editor specializing in thrillers, romantic suspense, mysteries, and other crime fiction. Please check out Jodie’s website and blog, as well as her group blog, Crime Fiction Collective.
Jodie’s craft of fiction articles appear regularly on various blogs, and she has published two popular craft-of-fiction e-books in the series, An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: Writing a Killer Thriller and Style that Sizzles and Pacing for Power.

Both are on sale at Amazon, and you don’t need to own a Kindle to buy and read Kindle e-books – you can download them to your PC, Mac, tablet or smartphone. Style that Sizzles will be out in paperback soon.





Thursday, May 24, 2012

Interview with Robb Grindstaff, Freelance Editor


I recently interviewed fellow freelance editor and Facebook friend, Robb Grindstaff, about his take on the freelance editing process.


JR: What should authors look for in an editor, and expect from an editing process?

RG: Look for compatibility in work style, a good working relationship, a good “fit,” for lack of a better term. Editing is a collaborative process, but with a freelance/independent editor, the writer is ultimately in charge of all decisions. If you don't understand why your editor made a change or suggested something, ask. You should get a reasoned, rational explanation, which may or may not agree with your instincts. Listen to your editor, but in the end, you have to be true to yourself, your work, your voice, and make the decision that's right for you. Your editor shouldn't be offended by that. Your editor should always be trying to edit to improve YOUR story in YOUR voice, not rewrite it the way he would have written it.


JR: What do editors hope for in clients or expect from clients? 
RG: I hope for clients who want to learn, who have thick skin and don't get offended if I write a cryptic comment in the margin that might say, “This doesn't make sense,” or “This sounds awkward,” or “I'd drop this, it's too _________ (fill in the blank).” And writers who will ask for an explanation if I'm too cryptic and don't tell why or give a suggestion on how to make something better. And it’s okay if, after listening to me, you say, “I get what you're saying, but I'm going to leave that word/sentence/paragraph/scene as is.” I won't be offended. I try to go back to writers and ask, “What are you trying to say here?” or “What is this scene trying to accomplish?” I want writers who come back to me and say “Why did you strike this sentence? I thought it went to portraying the character's state of mind.” The most important work will come from that back and forth discussion on points of either disagreement or lack of understanding on either part.


JR: What level(s) of editing do you provide? Do you charge one overall fee or different fees for different processes? 
RG: I provide three basic levels of editing, or any combination thereof.

Lowest level is a basic proofread, which is just to correct typos, punctuation, spelling, and grammar errors—purely a technical, mechanical edit. This should always be the last edit in the process before sending your manuscript out to agents, publishers, or uploading to the self-publishing process.


A line edit or copy edit is a much more in-depth, detailed line-by-line editing of the manuscript. A line edit looks at the writing, the prose, the word choices, sentence structures, continuity and consistency. A line edit can also look at some larger issues such as pace and flow or organizational structure of the novel. 

The highest level edit is an analysis/critique—also called a manuscript assessment or evaluation. This doesn't provide a line-by-line edit, but a detailed report that looks at the major issues in crafting a novel: narrative arc, plot and subplots, point of view and perspective, characterization, voice, use of setting, pace and flow, organization, and will provide an analysis of any recurring issues with the writing itself. 

The best way to remember these is that a line edit looks at the writing quality, and an analysis (or critique or evaluation) looks at the story (although there is certainly some overlap).

A developmental edit is a customized combination of all three levels of editing in a longer process, designed for each writer's specific needs. It starts with a first or early draft, then progresses through rewrites and revisions.

Prices are also customized for each client because every manuscript is different, based on the level or type of editing and how involved that editing will be. Before taking on a client, I read the opening chapters of a manuscript, provide a sample edit of the opening pages, make a recommendation for what type of edit (unless the writer has specifically requested a particular level), and provide a firm price quote at that time with no surprises later. General rates can run from $1 per manuscript page (approx 250 words per page) for light proofreading, up to as much as $6 per manuscript page for full developmental editing over a period of weeks or months.


JR: Do you charge by the page, hour or word? Why did you choose that method? And what are some pros and cons of your method of charging. 
RG: I use a combination of methods to determine a price quote in advance, customized for each manuscript and each writer. On my website, I publish price ranges based on per manuscript page, estimating 250 words per page, so writers can estimate a general price based on the size of their manuscript and the type of editing needed. When I do a sample edit, I estimate how much time I think the edit might take, compare that to my per page rates, and then try to come up with a firm price quote that is fair to me and the time I'll need to invest in order to do a professional job, as well as fair, reasonable, and affordable to the writer. As a writer first and foremost, I understand that most writers don't have gobs of cash lying about in which to hire editors. I'd rather have three clients at modest rates than quote higher rates and have no clients. I compare my rates and prices against the “industry standards” chart on the Editorial Freelancers Association website to ensure my rates are well below "industry standard."



JR: Do you do a free sample edit or edit a chapter or section at a low fee, as a sample of how you’d handle their work? 
RG: As noted above, I always do a free sample first—no charge, no obligation. I usually read the first 20-30 pages of a manuscript, then do a sample edit of the opening 10 pages or thereabouts. That's the only way that I can get a true feeling of what type of editing is needed, how involved it is, how much time it might take me, in order to quote a fair price to the potential client. It's also a key factor for the writer to determine if I'm the right editor: Do I edit the voice out of the work? Do I “get” the story and what the writer is trying to accomplish? Do I catch little errors and big issues in the opening pages? Do I have sound recommendations and suggestions that help the story and the writing? Does the writer get the impression from my sample edit that she would enjoy working with me or find me annoying?


JR: Fees and payments – how do you work that? Half at the start and half at the end? Pay in installments as the editing proceeds and edited sections are sent to client? 

RB: In most cases, I request half in advance to schedule the work on my calendar. The remaining half isn't due until I complete the work and send the finished product back to the writer. So we both have to have a measure of trust, of course. For most edits, I edit the entire manuscript and send it back all at once. After I complete the edit, however, the writer has me on retainer for up to 90 days as she goes through her manuscript and my edits, for questions, clarifications, for me to read revised scenes as needed, or to discuss different ways to handle any particular issue. For the longer (and more expensive) developmental edits, I can customize the payment schedule based on the milestones in the development process, and break it into three or four payments as appropriate and as meets the writer's needs and budget. In all cases, I'm flexible, and have worked out a variety of arrangements to meet the writer's needs.


JR: Do you have any tips for writers looking for a freelance editor? 

RG: When looking for an editor, I recommend a three-step process, and I recommend checking with more than one editor so you can get a feel for how each one is different in order to select the one with the best fit for you and your work. The three steps to follow: 1) get references, 2) get a free, no-obligation sample edit, 3) get more references.


Also, keep in mind that at any given moment, I (or any other editor) may have clients lined up on the calendar for weeks or even months in advance, so don't wait until the last minute and expect to find an editor sitting around with no work, ready to start on your manuscript tomorrow. If you do find an editor with no work, let that raise an eyebrow. Sure, there are times when I might be available to work in another client this month, but there are times when I am taking reservations 90 days in advance.

JR: Thanks for dropping by, Robb! Always interesting to hear about the process and services of other freelance editors.


For an interview of Jodie Renner about the freelance editing process, please go to this link at The Thrill Begins Blogspot.


Writers - do you have any questions for Robb or Jodie about the freelance editing process and their approach, process and services?

Robb Grindstaff's info:
Website: http://robbgrindstaff.com


Email: robb@robbgrindstaff.com

Jodie Renner is a freelance editor specializing in thrillers, romantic suspense, mysteries, and other crime fiction. Please check out Jodie’s website and blog, as well as her group blog, Crime Fiction Collective.
Jodie’s craft of fiction articles appear regularly on various blogs, and she has published two popular craft-of-fiction e-books in the series, An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: Writing a Killer Thriller and Style that Sizzles and Pacing for Power.

Both are on sale at Amazon, and you don’t need to own a Kindle to buy and read Kindle e-books – you can download them to your PC, Mac, tablet or smartphone. Style that Sizzles will be out in paperback soon.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Those Critical First Five Pages


by Jodie Renner, freelance editor    

Congratulations! You’ve finished the first draft of your novel! Now it’s time to go back and polish up your first few pages. Then later you can do a third—or tenth—rewrite of that all-important first few paragraphs to create the most enticing hook possible. For today, we’ll talk about the essential ingredients of the first five pages, as most agents and acquiring editors—and readers—will stop reading by the fifth page, or sooner, if the story and characters don’t grab them by then.

In February 2011, I attended a workshop by literary agent Kristin Nelson at the San Miguel Writers’ Conference, in which she had attendees anonymously submit the first two pages of their novel. She started reading the submissions and stopped at the spot where she lost interest. In many instances it was after the first or second paragraph! Sometimes she made it almost to the end of the first page, and in one case, even halfway through the second page. Then she told us why that manuscript, as written, would be rejected. (Not a single one of those made it.)

In a follow-up article in Writer’s Digest (Oct. 2011), Kristen gives four examples of submissions and where and why she stopped reading three of them (all on the first page): “too much dialogue,” “overuse of description,” and “lack of tension.” In her workshop, “lack of clear protagonist,” “unsympathetic protagonist,” “boring” and “confusing” were other reasons given.

After Ms. Nelson's workshop, I heard a lot of “If she’d only read a little further, she would have seen that…” or “That wasn’t fair. She didn’t give me a chance. How can she judge a manuscript by only reading one page?” Unfortunately, agents get tens of thousands of submissions a year, and if you don’t grab them within the first page or two, the sad reality is that your book will probably be rejected. And of course, as readers, most of us will read the back cover and maybe the first page, then decide based on that whether to buy the book or not. And even when I’ve paid money for a book, if it doesn’t grab me by about page ten, I’ll discard it.

One of the main reasons agents, acquiring editors and readers will reject a book after reading the first few pages is that they’re confused. They need to get a picture right away about whose story it is, why we should care about that person, and roughly where and when the story is taking place. Once readers have a handle on the main character and the setting, they can relax and settle into the story world. Of course, you also have to spark their interest with a problem early on—put your protagonist in some hot water with an inciting incident, so the reader can sympathize with them and start rooting for them.

Whose story is it?

It’s important to start out the novel in the viewpoint of your protagonist, as the first person the readers read about is the person they start identifying with, and they’ll feel cheated if suddenly, after they’ve invested some time and effort into getting to know this person and bonding a bit with him, he suddenly turns out to be not someone they should be rooting for at all, but in fact the antagonist, whom they’re supposed to be hating, or worse yet, a minor character or someone who gets killed off a little while later.

As Steve Berry, bestselling author and sought-after writing workshop leader, told a packed room of eager aspiring writers at Craftfest, part of Thrillerfest 2011 in New York, “Always start your book in the point of view of your protagonist.” I think this is excellent advice, as the readers—not to mention agents and acquiring editors—want to know right away whose story it is, who to start bonding with and cheering for.

Here are the first questions your readers will be asking:

Why should I care about this character, anyway?

Readers aren’t going to invest time reading a story about a character they don’t like or can’t identify with, so make sure your protagonist is likeable and sympathetic, to draw the readers in to identify with him or her. And make them well-rounded and complex, with hopes and fears, strengths and weaknesses, and inner conflict. And of course have them confronted with a problem—an inciting incident—within the first few pages, as conflict is what drives fiction forward. A perfect character with an ideal life is both annoying and boring—not a formula for compelling fiction!

Where and when is the action taking place?

Without drowning us in long descriptive passages right at the beginning, give the readers a few hints very early on—definitely on the first page—of the setting of your story: Contemporary? Past? Future? Country/Culture? Urban/rural/wilderness? Which city or town? And so on. Don’t confuse and frustrate your readers by making them wonder where on earth all this is happening, and whether it’s in the present or some other time.

Why should I read this story?

Show your stuff in your first five pages or so. Draw the reader (or agent or editor) in with a great first scene, well-written, with interesting, complex characters, some intriguing action, and compelling, natural-sounding dialogue. Include your inciting incident and initial conflict, and hint at greater problems to come. Introduce or hint at a worthy adversary—a cunning villain or attractive but maddening/annoying possible love interest. And write your first pages in the same tone, style and voice you’ll be using for your novel, so the readers will have a good idea of what they’ll be getting into. And of course, continue in this same tone (suspenseful, humorous, serious, romantic, etc.) for the rest of the novel, so the reader won’t feel cheated or misled.

But don’t get bogged down trying to perfect your opening pages in the early stages – wait until you’ve got all or most of your first draft written. By then, you’ll be “in the groove” and you’ll know your character and his/her problems a lot better, as well as the resolution, so this part will flow so much more easily.

© Jodie Renner

Two related articles by Jodie: “Act First, Explain Later” and “Set up Your Story in the First Paragraphs

Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: FIRE UP YOUR FICTION,  CAPTIVATE YOUR READERS, and WRITING A KILLER THRILLER, as well as two clickable time-saving e-resources, QUICK CLICKS: Spelling List and QUICK CLICKS: Word Usage. She has also organized two anthologies for charity: VOICES FROM THE VALLEYS – Stories and Poems about Life in BC’s Interior, and CHILDHOOD REGAINED – Stories of Hope for Asian Child Workers. You can find Jodie on her Amazon Author Page, at www.JodieRenner.com, and on Facebook. 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Every Scene Needs Tension and a Change

 by Jodie Renner, editor and author  

Do you have a scene in your novel where nothing much really happens, where your protagonist isn’t in trouble, or at least challenged? Where there’s not a lot of tension and no major developments or setbacks? If so, rewrite that scene or take it out, with any essential bits from it inserted somewhere else. If you leave it as is, that could well be the scene where your readers decide the story is lagging, and they put it down – and don’t pick it up again. 

There’s no place for “filler” in a page-turning thriller. Today’s readers are much more impatient than readers of the past, much less willing to slog on through boring parts to see if things improve. Every scene needs to grab them with lots of tension and intrigue. Anything significant needs to be “shown,” not “told” (see my article “Show, Don’t Tell”), and the events and dialogue of every scene need to move the plot along and result in a significant change in the characters and their situation. 

Every scene needs tension.

As James Scott Bell says, “Every scene in your novel should have tension, whether that comes from outright conflict or the inner turmoil of character emotions.” How do you create that needed conflict? According to Bell, “You create outer tension by giving the POV character a scene objective. What does he want, and why? It has to matter to him, or it won’t to us.”

Then decide what kinds of obstacles should keep your protagonist from reaching his goal. It could be another character (or several) with an opposing agenda, or a difficult circumstance, or both.

Finally, to continue the tension flowing into the next scene, and to keep the reader worried and reading, it’s best to make most scenes come out with the character suffering a setback. 

Of course, not every scene is going to have a fight or a screaming match. But even in quieter scenes, it’s important to show the inner tension of your viewpoint character – worry, concern, irritability, anxiety, doubt, indecision. Also show the tension of other characters by their words, actions, tone of voice, facial expressions and body language.

Each scene needs significant change.

As Hallie Ephron says, “In the course of each scene, some change should occur to move your story forward. It’s not enough for a scene to just introduce a character or convey lots of fascinating information about the setting. In every scene, something has to change. This means that something has to happen that changes the situation, or a character’s perception of it, and that change propels the story forward.” 

The change that occurs in a scene can be a shift in a character’s emotional state, their relationship with others, or their situation – usually for the worst. And the change needs to result in character growth or plot change.

Write tight, compelling scenes. Start late and end early.

Besides making sure every scene has conflict and change, and events are “shown,” not described or “told,” another tip for keeping your readers turning the pages is to start each scene as late as possible. In other words, don’t spend a lot of time with description and scene setup – start just as things are getting rolling. 

However, it’s important to remember that even though you want to start late, don’t forget to orient the reader at the start of each scene by establishing right away who the viewpoint character is for the scene and when and where the action is taking place. This brief setting of the scene should happen within the first sentence or two, to avoid reader confusion and frustration.

Secondly, end each scene and chapter as early as possible. Don’t let scenes dribble off – instead, end each scene on a powerful note that propels the readers forward with a new story question for the next scene or chapter. Resist the urge to say the same thing in several ways or to add more minor details. And don’t resolve everything at the end of the scene – leave readers hanging most of the time, with your protagonist still struggling.

A blueprint for writing strong scenes:

Jack M. Bickham gives us some specific advice for writing powerful scenes. According to him, any time you start to write a scene, you should go through the following process (reworded slightly for brevity, and my italics):

1. Decide specifically what the main character’s immediate goal is.

2. Get this written down clearly in the copy.

3. On a separate note to yourself, write down, clearly and briefly, what the scene question is. Word it so it can be answered by “yes” or “no.”

4. In your story, after the goal has been shown, bring in another character who now states, just as clearly, his opposition.

5. Plan all the maneuvers and steps in the conflict between the two characters you have set up.

6. Write the scene moment-by-moment; no summary.

7. Devise a disastrous ending of the scene – a turning of the tables or surprise that answers the scene question badly.” [ends badly for the protagonist]

Bickham concludes, “Please note, however, that none of this can happen – nothing can work – if the scene does not grab your readers and intensely involve them. To accomplish that, the scene must be lifelike.” 

So don’t tell us what happened – show the action in real time, with plenty of tension, revealing throughout the scene the viewpoint character’s goals, emotions, reactions, and sensory perceptions.

Writing high-tension scenes

Your plot should include a few especially tense scenes, probably one in the middle, and the biggest one for the climax, where the tension, conflict, suspense and action are at an extreme level. 

To design these pivotal scenes or “set pieces,” as they call them in screenwriting, you’ll need to brainstorm for the worst thing that can happen to your protagonist at that time. Make a list and pick the scariest possibility.

Once you’ve decided what will happen in that scene, maximize the tension by building up to it and hinting at it beforehand, to raise the apprehension of the readers. Set up the danger ahead of time for the readers, by making it something the protagonist or someone close to them is worried might happen, or a glimpse we see into the villain’s plans, etc.

And once you’re in the scene, be sure to show us how your character is feeling. Make the readers aware of his doubts, anxieties, fears, and determination. Show his decision-making process, so we’re right there with him, trying to figure a way out of the dilemma or how to stop the destructive plans of the bad guy. And give us the details of how he's feeling physically as well. Perhaps he's injured and in pain, or showing physical signs of terror or panicking.

Resources:

James Scott Bell, Revision and Self-Editing

Jack M. Bickham, The 38 Most Common Fiction Writing Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)

Hallie Ephron, The Everything Guide to Writing Your First Novel

Jessica Page Morrell, Between the Lines


Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: Captivate Your Readers, Fire up Your Fiction, and Writing a Killer Thriller. She has also published two clickable time-saving e-resources to date: Quick Clicks: Spelling List and Quick Clicks: Word Usage. You can find Jodie at www.JodieRenner.com, www.JodieRennerEditing.com, at The Kill Zone blog alternate Mondays, and on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Clear, Concise, Powerful Nonfiction Writing

OR: USING "PLAIN LANGUAGE" TO COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY


by Jodie Renner, editor & author, www.JodieRenner.com


"Are you excavating a subterranean channel?" asked the scholar. "No sir," replied the farmer. "I am only digging a ditch." - Anon

Today’s post is mainly aimed at nonfiction writers, for a change. Have you ever read a legal document that was incomprehensible to you? Sometimes even magazine articles seem to be far more stiff and convoluted than they need to be.

Readers today are deluged with documents to read and information to assimilate. They don't want to have to wade through a thick pile of verbiage, long, complicated sentences, and unnecessarily fancy words to get the info they're looking for. They want you to state your points clearly and succinctly (with maybe even a touch of humor), so they can get on to the next chapter, document or article.

Language is all about communication; and as such, written language should be easily understood by most of the population, or at least by everyone in your target readership. If you’re sending your average reader to the dictionary more than once or twice in your article, or if they have to stop and re-read a sentence because it’s way too long and complex, you’re not communicating in a clear, direct way, and you’re likely to turn off your readers. Or, worse, you’ll just come across as pedantic and pompous.

According to Wikipedia, “Plain language, sometimes called simple language or clear language, is lucid, succinct writing designed to ensure the reader understands as quickly and completely as possible. Plain language avoids complications created by verbose, convoluted writing common in technical, legal, and other fields.”

Dr. Robert Eagleson defines plain language as “...clear, straightforward expression, using only as many words as are necessary. It is language that avoids obscurity, inflated vocabulary and convoluted construction. It is not baby talk, nor is it a simplified version of...language.”

Here are some tips for communicating clearly and effectively in your writing:

1. Avoid unnecessarily long sentences and excess wordiness.

Excess or elaborate words make your writing weaker. When tempted to use a wordy phrase, choose a concise alternative instead. As Robert W. Harris says, “Concise sentences have a force that wordy sentences don’t have. Extraneous words merely take up space and dilute the impact of the idea being expressed.”

Harris gives the following examples in his book, When Good People Write Bad Sentences:
Wordy: “Consuming excessive calories at breakfast, lunch and dinner can lead to an increase in blood pressure.”

Concise: “Overeating at meals can increase blood pressure.”

Wordy: “Owing to the fact that my car is not the most reliable of machines, I often show up for appointments after their scheduled commencement times.”

Concise: “Because my car is unreliable, I’m often late for appointments.”

Government writing in particular, is often too wordy. Here are some examples from www.plainlanguage.gov of excess words in government writing and plain alternatives:

Original: "At the present time, the FAA in accordance with new regulations will on a monthly basis conduct random security checks in the event that there is a terrorist alert."

Revised: "The FAA under new regulations will conduct monthly random security checks if there is a terrorist alert."

Some examples of wordy phrases to avoid, and straightforward, clear alternatives:

Wordy phrases ----- Plain Alternatives
as a consequence of -----because
in the vicinity of ---------near
on a regular basis ------- regularly
as a means of ------------ to
as prescribed by --------- in, under
at a later date ----------- later
at the present time ----- now, currently
despite the fact that ----- despite            
for the purpose of ------- to, for
in accordance with ------ under
in the event that ---------- if
in the not-too-distant future - soon
has the appearance of --- looks like
on a monthly basis ------- monthly
owing to the fact that ---- because
pertaining to --------------- of, about
should it appear that ----- if
with regard to ------------ about
drew to a close ----------- ended
on an annual basis ------- annually

Notice that the extra words in the first column above don’t help the meaning or add anything of significance. The wordy phrases are no more serious, compelling, or informative than their concise alternatives. In fact, extra words drain the life out of your work. The fewer words used to express an idea, the more punch it has.

2. Use active voice instead of passive voice.

Passive: The tests were graded by the teacher. The ball was kicked by Paul. The motion was passed by Senate.

Active: The teacher graded the tests. Paul kicked the ball. Senate passed the motion.

Because the active voice emphasizes the doer of an action, it is usually briefer, clearer, and more emphatic than the passive voice. Whenever possible, use active voice in your writings.

3. Avoid redundancies and unnecessary qualifiers.

It’s a mistake to think that in order to make an idea clear, you need to state it in several different ways. Using different words that mean the same thing can actually make your document harder to understand. To avoid repetition, if you are thinking of describing something with two words that have the same meaning, use the word that sounds more powerful.

Original: Because you are an experienced senior, you should help aid the new incoming freshmen.

Revised: Because you are a senior, you should help the incoming freshmen.

Also, unnecessary qualifiers add no additional meaning to a sentence, so avoid redundant phrases such as:

absolutely necessary, advance warning, basic fundamentals, close scrutiny, final outcome, future plans, honest truth, joint collaboration, overused cliché, past history, regular routine, unexpected surprise, etc.

In all of these cases, it’s best to just use the second of the two words in each phrase, as none of these words needed qualifying.

4. Don’t use multiple negatives

Using more than one negative muddles the meaning of a document. Accentuate the positive when you can. Here’s an example from www.plainlanguage.gov:

Original: No changes will be made to the Department of Transportation’s regulations unless the administrator reviews them and concludes that they are not lacking any important information.

Revised: Changes will be made to the Department of Transportation’s regulations only if the administrator reviews them and concludes they are lacking important information.

5. Don’t use a pretentious word or phrase when an ordinary one will do.

“I always endeavor to utilize multisyllabic words. It is the manner in which sophisticated people write.” – from When Good People Write Bad Sentences
Pretentious language, rather than impressing or intimidating readers, just makes the writer look like a pompous show-off. High-sounding words can suggest that one’s ideas aren’t interesting on their own so they need to be “enhanced.”

Here are some overly fancy words and their down-to-earth alternatives:

altercation – fight; appellation – name; domicile – home; capacious – roomy; facilitate – aid; impecunious – poor; jocular – witty; masticate – chew; perambulate – stroll; modification – change; pusillanimous – timid; recapitulation – summary; sobriquet – nickname; vicissitude – hardship; vociferate – shout. (The list goes on, but you get the picture.) 


6. Finally, wherever possible, write in a visually appealing style.
Use headings, subheadings, bulleted lists, numbered lists, sidebars, graphics, tables, and parallel phrasing to make it easier for your readers to find the information quickly.

Remember, the purpose of writing is to communicate your ideas as clearly and as easily as possible – not to impress your readers with your erudition!

Copyright Jodie Renner,
http://www.jodierenner.com/


 


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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Busy with Editing and Publishing my Craft of Fiction Articles

I've been very busy editing fiction manuscripts, mostly thrillers, mysteries, romantic suspense and other crime fiction, as well as publishing my craft of fiction articles on various writers' blogs, so my own blogspot here is getting negelected.

In fact, today (Jan. 19, 2012), I have four different articles published on four different sites:

Hot off the press - "Check Your Facts, Ma'am!" (so you don't annoy and alienate your readers) is up on Blood-Red Pencil blogspot, at http://www.bloodredpencil.blogspot.com/.

And an updated version of my "Thrillers vs. Mysteries" is up on The Thrill Begins blogspot, at
http://thethrillbegins.blogspot.com/.

Also, Part 3 of "Tension on Every Page" (with parts 1 & 2 just below it) is up on DP Lyle, MD's blog, Writer's Forensics Blog, at
http://writersforensicsblog.wordpress.com/.

And "Essential Elements of a Bestselling Thriller" is up at Suspense Magazine's blog:
http://www.suspensemagazine.com/blog2/

Drop on over to any or all of them, and leave a comment if you have a minute to spare!

And keep on writing!

Monday, October 31, 2011

NaNoWriMo in a Nutshell

What is NaNoWriMo, anyway?

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, an incentive for aspiring writers to get off their butts and start writing. It’s held in November, because what else will you do in November, anyway?

How do I find out about it?

For more info and to register for NaNoWriMo, visit their official website at www.NaNoWriMo.org. Here’s the answer to your first question, on their FAQ page:

NaNo in a Nutshell:

What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month's time.

Who: You! We can't do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let's write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.

Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era's most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from our novels at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.

When: You can sign up anytime to add your name to the roster and browse the forums. Writing begins November 1. To be added to the official list of winners, you must reach the 50,000-word mark by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins.

Where: You write wherever you’d like. On your computer, on your iPad, on a typewriter---anywhere is fine, just as long as you’re writing! For a more in-depth NaNoWriMo overview, visit the devilishly handsome What is NaNoWriMo? and How NaNoWriMo Works pages.”

***

More info and background on NaNoWriMo:

According to Wikipedia, “NaNoWriMo is an annual creative writing project coordinated by the non-profit organization The Office of Letters and Light. Spanning the month of November, the project challenges participants to write 50,000 words of a new novel in one month. The project has been running since July 1999 by Chris Baty, and started out with only 21 participants. In 2009, over 170,000 people signed up and 2,427,190,537 words were written.

How do I get involved?

Writers wishing to participate first register on the project’s website, where they can post profiles and information about their novels, including a synopsis and excerpts. Word counts are validated on the site, with writers submitting a copy of their novel at the end for automatic counting. Municipal leaders and regional forums help connect local writers with one another by holding writing events and providing encouragement.”

What are the rules?

This is for fiction writing, but participants’ novels can be on any theme and in any genre, and in any language. According to the website’s FAQ, “If you believe you're writing a novel, we believe you're writing a novel too.” You start writing November 1, and the idea is for you to reach a minimum of 50,000 words by 11:59:59 PM on November 30, local time. We’re talking first draft here, not polishing and revising, which you leave till later. You’re allowed to do all kinds of advance planning and make extensive notes, but you can’t start the actual writing until November 1.

According to Wikipedia, “Participants write either a complete novel of 50,000 words, or simply the first 50,000 words of a novel to be completed later. While 50,000 words is a relatively low word count for a complete novel, it is still significantly more than the 40,000 word mark that distinguishes a novel from a novella. Notable novels of roughly 50,000 words include The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Brave New World, and The Great Gatsby.”

To complete the NaNoWriMo challenge, participants will need to write an average of about 1,667 words per day. Organizers of the event say that the aim is simply to get people to start writing, using the deadline as an incentive to get the story going and to put words to paper. This “quantity over quality” philosophy is summarized by the site’s slogan: No Plot? No Problem! This is also the title of Chris Baty's book of advice for NaNoWriMo participants, published in late 2004 by Chronicle Books.

Is there a cost to enter this program?

No, there is no fee to participate in NaNoWriMo; all you need to do is register in order to have your progress verified.

Are there any prizes?

No, there are official prizes are awarded, but you will receive a handy-dandy certificate to display as you wish, as well as an icon to display on the Web, and you’ll be officially included on the list of winners. Anyone who reaches the 50,000 word mark is declared a winner.

How do they know I reached the target number of words?

Beginning November 25, participants can submit their novel to be automatically verified for length. No precautions are taken to prevent cheating; since the only significant reward for winning is the finished novel itself and the satisfaction of having written it, there is little incentive to cheat. Novels are verified for word count by software, and may be scrambled or otherwise encrypted before being submitted for verification, although the software does not keep any other record of text input. It is possible to win without anyone (other than the author) ever seeing or reading the novel.

In October 2008, the self-publishing company CreateSpace teamed up with NaNoWriMo to begin offering winners a single free, paperback proof copy of their manuscripts, with the option to use the proof to then sell the novel on Amazon.com.

What about community support?

The official forums on the NaNoWriMo website provide a place for advice, information, criticism, support and an opportunity for “collective procrastination.” The forums are available from the beginning of October, when signups for the year begin, until late September, when they are archived and the database is wiped in preparation for the next year.

Most regions also have one or more Municipal Liaisons (ML) assigned to them, who are volunteers that help with organizing local events. MLs are encouraged to coordinate at least two kinds of meet-ups; a kickoff party, and a "Thank God It's Over" party to celebrate successes and share novels. Kickoff parties are often held the weekend before November to give local writers a chance to meet and get geared up, although some are held on Halloween night past midnight so writers start writing in a community setting. Other events may be scheduled, including weekend meet-ups or overnight write-ins.

Don’t have a computer to write on? NaNoWriMo runs a Laptop Loaner program for those who do not have regular access to a computer or word processor. Old, yet functional laptops are donated from NaNoWriMo participants. Those wishing to borrow a laptop are required to cover the cost of shipping it back and must send a $300 deposit along with proof of identity, but are not charged a fee for using the laptops. In 2006, AlphaSmart, Inc. donated 25 brand-new Neos to expand the Laptop Loaner library with the promise of 25 more over the next two years .

by Jodie Renner, http://www.jodierennerediting.com/