Amp up that Dialogue!

by Jodie Renner, editor & author 

Are you working on your first popular fiction novel or a short story you'd like to submit to a contest, anthology, or magazine? How you portray your characters interacting with each other is critical for bringing them to life on the page. Following are some tips I posted several years ago that newbie fiction writers and aspiring authors will still find useful.

Dialogue is one of the first things agents and editors look at when they receive a manuscript for consideration. If the dialogue is wooden, stilted, or artificial, most agents will assume that the rest of the writing is amateurish, and the manuscript will be quickly rejected. Here are some concrete ways to make your dialogue more compelling and natural-sounding.

 A. Dialogue needs tension, conflict and emotion!

This one is huge. As Randy Ingermanson and Peter Economy say in Writing Fiction for Dummies, “Dialogue is war! Every dialogue should be a controlled conflict between at least two characters with opposing agendas. The main purpose of dialogue is to advance the conflict of the story.”

1. Leave out the “Hi, how are you?” “I’m fine, and you?” “Nice day,” stuff, and cut to the chase. Skip past introductions and all that empty blah-blah small talk.

2. Avoid any kind of long monologue or dialogue that just imparts information, with no tension or emotion.

3. Don’t use dialogue as “filler” – if it doesn’t advance the plot, heighten the conflict, or deepen the characterization, take it out.

4. Include lots of emotional or sexual tension and subtext in your dialogue. Silence, interrupting, or abruptly changing the subject can be effective, too.

B. Loosen up the dialogue.

 The most common problem with dialogue for new writers is that it often sounds too stiff and formal. Here are some easy, quick tips for loosening up the dialogue to make it sound more natural:

1. Read your dialogue out loud. Does it sound natural? Can you cut some words out, or use more common, everyday conversational words, rather than more “correct” words? In conversation, use “bought” rather than “purchased,” “use” rather than “utilize,” etc.

2. Use contractions. Change “I am” to “I’m”, “we will” to “we’ll”, “do not” to “don’t”, “they will” to “they’ll,” etc.

3. Break up those long, grammatically correct complete sentences. Nobody talks in complete sentences in informal conversations with friends (or enemies) and family, especially in stressful situations. Frequently, use some short sentence fragments, and one-word answers.

4. Don’t have one person go on and on about a subject. Fiction is not the place for a lecture on a topic, or somebody speaking at length about himself. It’s not natural, and your readers aren’t interested in long monologues! Have the other person interrupt to ask a question, give their opinion, seek clarification, change the subject, etc.

C. Keep it real!

 Avoid unnatural dialogue caused by having the characters say things they would never say, just to impart some information to the readers! An extreme example of this would be a character saying to his sister: “As you know, our parents died in a car crash five years ago.” Or even the more subtle, “As your lawyer, I must advise you…” Using dialogue this way to get some information across to the reader is artificial and a sure sign of an amateur writer. Work the information in subtly, without having one character say something that the other would obviously already know.

D. Give each character his or her own voice or speaking style. Make sure all your characters don’t sound the same (like the author).

 First, pay attention to differences in gender, age, social status, education, geographical location, historical era, etc. Some characters, especially professionals, will use more correct English and longer sentences, while others will use rougher language, with a lot of one- or two-word questions or answers, sprinkled with expletives.

 Then, think about individual personality differences within that social group, and the situation. Is your character: Shy or outgoing? Talkative or quiet? Formal or casual? Modern or old-fashioned? Confident or nervous? Tactful or blunt? Serious or lighthearted? Relaxed or stressed? And give each character their own little quirks and slang expressions, but exercise caution when using slang or expletives. (More on that in another article.)

E. Gender differences.

Bear in mind that men and women tend to express themselves differently.

- In general, men are terser and more direct; they usually prefer to talk about things rather than people or feelings; and they often use brief or one-word answers.

- Women, on the other hand, like to talk about people and relationships; often hint at or talk around a subject, tend to express themselves in more complete sentences; and often want to discuss their feelings.

- These differences are especially important to keep in mind if you’re a female author writing dialogue for male characters, and vice-versa.

F. Other tips:

1. Avoid “talking heads” – pages of unbroken dialogue, with little action or description.

- Move the characters around the scene, and indicate their reactions, gestures and body language:

“…as they walked into the kitchen,” “They pulled up in front of the police station,” “He crossed his arms,” “She got up and started pacing.” “He touched her arm.” “She gasped in alarm.” “He clenched his fists.” And so on.

2. For dialogue tags, use mainly he said and she said (and asked for questions), which are non-intrusive, rather than words like remarked, conjectured, queried, interjected, insinuated, pronounced, and uttered, which draw attention to themselves and can be annoying.

3. Also, beware of using non-speaking words as attributes, like “That’s so nice,” she smiled, or “You bet,” he grinned. You can’t “smile” or “grin” words! But you can say, “You bet.” He grinned and waved as he pulled away.

 4. However, in addition to he said and she said, words like shouted, whispered, mumbled, yelled, murmured, and screamed are very useful for advancing the plot and ramping up your imagery.

5. Avoid the dialogue tag if it’s obvious who’s speaking.

6. But do make it clear who’s speaking. Readers don’t want to have to back up and check to see who’s talking now.

7. Try to use action tags (beats) instead of dialogue tags, such as:

Shelley hung up the phone. “That was Carole.”

Mark tensed. “What did she want?”

8. Avoid having the characters constantly using each other’s names. Once in a while is good, but don’t overdo it.

For tips on how to write dialogue accurately, see: "Dialogue Nuts and Bolts." Also, "Some Dialogue Don'ts".

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Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: WRITING A KILLER THRILLER, FIRE UP YOUR FICTION, and CAPTIVATE YOUR READERS, as well as two clickable time-saving e-resources, QUICK CLICKS: Spelling List and QUICK CLICKS: Word Usage. She has also organized two anthologies for charity: VOICES FROM THE VALLEYS – Stories and Poems about Life in BC’s Interior, and CHILDHOOD REGAINED – Stories of Hope for Asian Child Workers. You can find Jodie on her Amazon Author Page, at www.JodieRenner.com, and on Facebook.   

Interview of Jodie Renner, Judge for Writer's Digest Popular Fiction Awards

I've had the privilege of judging short stories and novels for Writer's Digest's contests several times in the past, and will likely serve as judge again this year. Since the annual Writer's Digest Popular Fiction (short story) competition deadline is fast approaching (Sept. 16 - early bird deadline; Oct. 14 - final deadline), I decided to repost an interview from August 30, 2016 in which WD magazine asks me about my criteria in judging the thriller category of short stories. Most of these tips apply to any popular fiction short story, and will help you polish your story for any competition or publication.  Here's the original interview:


Writer’s Digest Popular Fiction Awards: Behind the Scenes of a Writing Competition with Thriller Judge Jodie Renner
By: Chelsea Henshey, Writer's Digest Magazine, August 30, 2016

Today, as part of our "Behind the Scenes of a Writing Competition" series, Thriller judge Jodie Renner discusses how to avoid common mistakes and take your submission to the top.

Meet the Judge:

Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: Captivate Your Readers, Fire up Your Fiction, and Writing a Killer Thriller. She has also published two clickable time-saving e-resources to date: Quick Clicks: Spelling List and Quick Clicks: Word Usage. She also judges short stories for several other groups as well as Writer’s Digest. You can find Jodie at www.JodieRenner.com and on Facebook and Twitter.

What are you looking for in a submission?

I’m looking for story that intrigues me right from the very first sentence and compels me to keep reading. I want a story that transports me away, makes me forget I’m judging a story or looking for errors. The story should have no distracting errors or formatting issues. I want a fresh voice, a unique, charismatic character with a significant problem he or she needs to solve. The story should have lots of tension, intrigue, and conflict, with suspenseful, nail-biting moments. I also hope for a surprise twist or even a shocking revelation at the end.

What makes a submission stand out?

The premise and plot line seem fresh, not familiar; the voice is unique and appealing; the protagonist is charismatic and likeable but complex, with secrets, regrets, fears, and hopes; the protagonist’s life is shaken up early on; he is confronted with a significant challenge, conflict, or critical problem he has to deal with; the characters come to life on the page through inner and outer reactions, including thoughts, feelings, and sensory reactions; there’s tension on every page; the dialogue is snappy and true to life for those types of characters; the story is free of grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors; and the ending is unexpected, but in retrospect, seems inevitable.

What are some common mistakes entrants can avoid?

* A slow or boring opening

• revving your engines, starting with neutral “telling” or description from the author’s point of view (omniscient);
• starting with backstory – setting the scene with explanations rather than jumping right in with the story;
• opening with the character alone, musing – best to have your character interacting with someone else in a dynamic scene, with some tension and attitude.
• Your first sentence and paragraph should arouse curiosity and raise questions that demand to be answered.
• Not enough tension at the beginning. Disrupt your main character’s life in some way on the first page.

* A confusing opening: Who is this, where are they, and what’s going on? Establish the four W’s on the first page – who, what, where, when, to situate readers so they don’t get confused or annoyed trying to figure out what’s going on.

* Fuzzy or distant POV: No evident point of view right from the start – whose story is this? Whose head are we in?

* Head-hopping or a wavering point of view within the story. For short stories, best to stay in one character’s viewpoint. Use first-person or close third person POV to establish intimacy and engage readers emotionally.

* Author intrusions: Don’t interrupt the action to explain things to the readers or describe things, the setting, or characters in a neutral point of view, as the author. Stay in the main character’s head and body! All explanations and descriptions should be through the characters, in a natural way, colored by their personality, attitudes, and agenda.

* Protagonist is one-dimensional, unlikeable, or boring; lacks personality, baggage, secrets, regrets, fears, and a driving goal or burning desire.

* Flat characters who don’t react to what’s going on. Show your character’s inner and outer reactions – thoughts, physical reactions, sensory perceptions – to bring them to life. (See Bring Your Characters to Life by Showing Their Reactions and Immerse Your Readers with Sensory Details.)

* Dialogue is stilted or boring. Too correct, no slang expressions or contractions (“I cannot” instead of “I can’t”, “We are not” instead “We aren’t” etc.), doesn’t sound natural. Read the dialogue out loud to see if it sounds like people actually speak. Make sure each character speaks differently, and not like the author. Leave out all “filler” dialogue, like “How are you?” “I’m fine,” etc. Cut to the chase! (See "Amp up That Dialogue!")

* Talking heads. Pages of dialogue, but we don’t know what the characters are doing. Use action beats and inner reactions to help readers visualize what’s going on with the characters at that moment.

* Lack of editing. Story rambles on, is all over the place, lacks focus and a clear problem/plot. Get to the point! Make every element, every image, and every word count!

* Not enough tension, conflict, and intrigue. For my category, thrillers, not enough suspense and intrigue. (See “Checklist for Adding Suspense and Intrigue to Your Story.”)

* Too much telling, not enough showing. Too much narration, especially neutral, author-like narration. Instead, “show” critical scenes in real time, with action and dialogue. See “Show, Don’t Tell.”

* No real “voice” – a too-correct, nonfiction style of writing. Get into the character’s head and body, and stay there. Use free-form journaling to capture their true voice, with plenty of attitude.

* A too-formal, overly correct writing style. This is fiction, not a scholarly or professional paper. Forget a neutral style and long-winded, grammatically correct sentences, especially in dialogue.

* A pedestrian, uninspired writing style – use lots of concrete specific nouns and verbs. Avoid overused verbs like “walked” and “ran”. Don’t prop up generic nouns and verbs with adjectives and adverbs – use a more specific, evocative noun or verb instead. For example, instead of “he ran quickly,” say “he raced” or “he charged” or “he dashed” or “he sprinted” or “he darted” or “he scurried.”

* An overly wordy writing style. Don’t clutter up your writing with a lot of extra words – this will hide your meaning, slow down communication, and lessen the impact of your message.

* A conclusion that drags on – tie the story up quickly.

* Spelling, grammatical mistakes, typos. Incorrect paragraphing for dialogue, incorrect punctuation and capitalization for dialogue. (See “Dialogue Nuts and Bolts”).

* Formatting errors – paragraphing, spacing, etc. (See “Basic Formatting of Your Manuscript (Formatting 101”).

*For more specific advice on writing a winning short story, see: “33 Tips for Creating a Short Story Worthy of Contests, Magazines, and Anthologies”

What is unique about the WD contest and why should writers submit?

Writers should submit their short stories to the Writer’s Digest Popular Fiction Awards because there are lots of different genres/categories to choose from, so you know your story is being judged by someone who reads and loves that genre. Also, since WD receives thousands of entries, a win or even an honorable mention from the Writer’s Digest contest is a real honor, something to be proud of. An award from this contest will really raise your status as a writer and advance your career.

For the original interview posted by Writer's Digest on August 30, 2016, click HERE.

Basic Formatting of Your Manuscript (Formatting 101)

by Jodie Renner, editor & author   

Here are some guidelines for formatting your short story or novel manuscript before submitting it to a freelance editor, a formatter, a contest, an agent, a magazine, or a publisher. 

In a nutshell, for fiction, your doc should be:

12-point, Times New Roman, double-spaced, all paragraphs indented, and no extra space between paragraphs.

1.   For editing, your manuscript needs to be in Microsoft Word (Microsoft Office). This is a must for submitting to an editor, as almost all editors use Word’s Track Changes.  

2.   Send the manuscript as a .doc or .docx, unless instructed otherwise. Some contests prefer or require rich text format (.rtf) or even plain text (.txt), but most submissions want .doc or .docx documents. 

3.   The preferred font is Times New Roman. It’s easier to read than many other fonts.

The font size should be 12-point. 

4.   To change the font and size for the whole manuscript instantly, click Control + A (for All) at the same time, which highlights the entire manuscript, then change the font and size by using the toolbar on “Home,” and then click “Enter.” 

5.   Left-justify the text, rather than justifying both sides. That way, it’s easier for the editor to spot spacing errors. That means the text is lined up straight down the left side (except for indents), but the right side is jagged, depending on the length of the last word in the line. To do that, click Control + A, then click the left-justify icon on the toolbar along the top (Click tab for Home first). You can also do that by clicking on the little arrow to the bottom and right of “Paragraph,” then click on the down arrow beside “Alignment” and click on “Left.” 

6.  Use only one space between sentences, not two. Two spaces between the period and capital went out with manual typewriters. 

7.   Do not press “Enter” at the ends of the lines to add an extra line-space between the lines (to double-space the document). This is a HUGE no-no! It causes major headaches and a lot of frustration. As soon as a few words are added or deleted (which is what editing’s all about), everything screws up. So make sure that when you’re typing and you come to the end of a line, do not press “Enter” unless it’s for a new paragraph. Let the text “wrap” around on its own. 

8.   A quick and easy way to double-space your whole manuscript: Control + A (for “all”), then Control + 2 (Click on Ctrl and on 2 at the same time). Voilà! It’s done! To go back to single-spacing later, Click Ctrl+A, then Ctrl+1. 

9.      To see at a glance all kinds of formatting errors, click on the paragraph symbol on the toolbar along the top. It’s called a “Pilcrow” and it looks like a backward “P”. Here it is: ¶. You’ll see dots where spaces are and a ¶ for every hard return (Enter), at the end of a paragraph or for an empty line space between paragraphs. 

10. Correct spacing between sentences. Click on that ¶ symbol again to see a dot for every space (click of the space bar). If you have two (or 3 or 4) dots instead of one between sentences (between the period and the next capital), you need to take out the extra spaces and just have one space between sentences. You can fix that for the whole manuscript in a second or two by using Find and Replace. Click on “Replace,” then after “Find what” hit the space bar twice (if you have 2 spaces). Then after “Replace with” click the space bar once. Then click on “Replace all” and Voilà again! All fixed! 

11. Correct line-spacing and paragraphing:  Click on that ¶ symbol in the toolbar again. You’ll see the pilcrow symbol ¶ at the end of every paragraph, to indicate a hard return (“Enter”), and then again at the beginning of a line-space. If you see the ¶ at the end of every line, all down the right margin, that’s a real problem – the biggest formatting mistake of all! You need to remove those pilcrows (returns) at the end of every line, either by using your “Delete” or “Backspace” keys before or after them, or by doing a “Find and Replace.” After “Find” you type in this: ^p (for the pilcrow or paragraph mark). After “Replace” you just hit the space bar once, to replace the carriage return with a space. 

When you click on that backwards “P”, also look for extra dots at the beginnings of paragraphs, before the first indented word, and take them all out. There should just be the indents, with no extra dots in front of them. 

Note that you should only see the pilcrow ¶ in two places – at the end of a paragraph, and on any blank line. If you see a ¶ anywhere other than those two locations, it’s misplaced and will probably cause some type of inadvertent mischief.  

12. Paragraphing for fiction: For fiction manuscripts, don’t add an extra line-space between paragraphs. Just leave it at your normal double-spacing. Press “Enter” at the end of the last paragraph, then indent the new paragraph (0.3 to 0.5 inch) using the built-in paragraph styles. Do not indent paragraphs by using the Tab key or the spacebar. This only causes problems that will have to be fixed by you or someone else (at your cost). (See #15 below for instructions on how to indent the right way.) 

13. Paragraphing for nonfiction: Nonfiction usually uses block formatting, with no indents for new paragraphs but instead an extra space between paragraphs.  

14. General rule for indenting and spacing paragraphs: If you indent your paragraphs, don’t leave an extra space between paragraphs; if you don’t indent, insert the extra space between paragraphs. 

15. How to indent the first line of each paragraph:

Do not press Tab or click repeatedly on the space bar to indent!

Click on that pilcrow again ¶ and if you see 2-7 dots at the beginning of the paragraph, you’ve used the space bar to indent. That’s another big no-no, and a bit of a headache to fix, especially if you don’t always use the exact same number of spaces. Using the “Tab” key to indent paragraphs is also a big no-no.  If you’ve done that, you’ll see an arrow at the indent. It’s important to indent for the first line of a new paragraph by using Word’s formatting. To do this for the whole manuscript at once, use Control + A (for All), then, in the toolbar along the top, click on the little arrow to the bottom right of “Paragraph” (in Word 2010), then under “Special” click on “First line,” then 0.5" or 0.4" or 0.3". Don’t go for less than .2" or more than .5". 

16. To center your title and chapter headings, do not repeatedly click on “Tab” or the space bar.

Again, if you click on the pilcrow (¶) and you can see a bunch of dots in front of the title, you’ve used the space bar to get it over there in the middle. And don’t use the Tab key for that, either. Instead, highlight the title with your cursor, then click on the centering in the toolbar along the top, under the “Home” tab. Or go to “Paragraph” below that, and click on the arrow in the lower right corner, then go to “Alignment,” then click the down arrow and choose “Centering.” Or a quick trick is to place your cursor in the title you want to center, and simply click CTRL + C (at the same time), which will automatically center the paragraph (title) in which your cursor is located.

17. For extra line spaces between chapters, do not repeatedly click on Enter or Return. To force a page break at the end of a chapter (in Word 2010), place your cursor at the end of the chapter, usually on the line below the last sentence, then, in the toolbar along the top, click on the tab “Insert” then click on “Page Break.” In Word 2007, click on “Page Layout” in the toolbar, then click on “Breaks”, then on “Page.” Another quick trick?  Press CTRL+Enter.  This will give you a forced page break for the end of each chapter. Do not do this at the end of a normal page, only for the end of a chapter. 

18. Your next chapter heading (chapter name or number) should start at least 3 line-spaces down from the top of the page.  

19. For more advanced, specific formatting, read the guidelines set out by the agent or publisher.

20. And a few quick notes about formatting for dialogue: 

Make a new paragraph for each new person talking. Also a new paragraph for someone else reacting to the previous speaker.

Comma after “said”: He said, “How are you?”     

Comma at the end of the spoken sentence, where a period would normally go, inside the last quotation mark. “Come with me,” she said.

 

Also, check out these three excellent blog posts on formatting, by others in the biz:

5 Book Formatting Mistakes to Avoid, by Chandler Bolt:
http://self-publishingschool.com/5-book-formatting-mistakes-to-avoid/.

First Steps in Formatting for Print by fiction editor Beth Hill.

Using Font Styles When Formatting for Print by Fiction Editor Beth Hill 

Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: WRITING A KILLER THRILLER, FIRE UP YOUR FICTION, and CAPTIVATE YOUR READERS, as well as two clickable time-saving e-resources, QUICK CLICKS: Spelling List and QUICK CLICKS: Word Usage. She has also organized two anthologies for charity: VOICES FROM THE VALLEYS – Stories and Poems about Life in BC’s Interior, and CHILDHOOD REGAINED – Stories of Hope for Asian Child Workers. You can find Jodie on her Amazon Author Page, at www.JodieRenner.com, and on Facebook. 

33 TIPS FOR CREATING A SHORT STORY WORTHY OF CONTESTS, MAGAZINES, AND ANTHOLOGIES

by Jodie Renner, editor & author 

Here are 33 concrete tips for writing a compelling short story that is worthy of publishing or submitting to contests, magazines, and anthologies. Of course, these are only guidelines – like any good cook with a recipe, you’ll tweak them to suit your own vision, goal, genre, and story idea.

And by the way, many or most of these tips also apply to effective, compelling longer fiction.

(When referring to the main character, I’ll be alternating between using “he” and “she”, so just fill in the gender of your own protagonist.)

PLANNING STAGE:

1. Keep the story tight. 

Most short stories are between 1,000 and 7,000 words long, with the most popular length between 2,500 and 4,000 words. Unlike a novel or even a novella, a short story is about a small slice of life, with one story thread and one theme. Don’t get too ambitious. It’s best to limit it to one principal character plus a few supporting characters, one main conflict, one geographical location, and a brief time frame, like a few weeks maximum – better yet, a few days, or even hours.

2. Create a main character who is complex and charismatic, one readers will care about. 

Your protagonist should be multi-dimensional and at least somewhat sympathetic, so readers can relate to him and start bonding with him right away. He should be fascinating, with plenty of personality. But give him a human side, with some inner conflict and vulnerability, so readers identify with him and start worrying about him immediately. If readers don’t care about your character, they also won’t care about what happens to him.

3. Give your protagonist a burning desire. 

What does he or she want more than anything? This is the basis for your story goal, the driving force of your story.

4. Decide what your character is most afraid of. 

What does your heroine regret most? What is she feeling guilty about? Give her some baggage and secrets.

5. Devise a critical story problem or conflict. 

Create a significant conflict or challenge for your protagonist. Put her in hot water right away, on the first page, so the readers start worrying about her early on. No conflict = no story. The conflict can be internal, external, or interpersonal, or all three. It can be against one’s own demons, other people, circumstances, or nature.

6. Develop a unique “voice” for this story. 

First, get to know your character really well by journaling in his voice. Pretend you are the character, writing in his secret diary, expressing his hopes and fears and venting his frustrations. Just let the ideas flow, in his point of view, using his words and expressions.

Then take it a step further and carry that voice you’ve developed throughout the whole story, even to the narration and description, which are really the viewpoint character’s thoughts, perceptions, observations, and reactions. This technique ensures that your whole story has a unique, compelling voice. (In a novel, the voice will of course change in any chapters that are in other characters’ viewpoints.)

7. Create a worthy antagonist. 

Devise an opposition character who is strong, clever, determined, and resourceful – a force to be reckoned with. And for added interest, make him or her multi-faceted, with a few positive qualities, too.

8. Add in a few interesting, even quirky supporting characters. 

Give each of your characters a distinct personality, with their own agenda, hopes, accomplishments, fears, insecurities, and secrets, and add some individual quirks to bring each of them to life. Supporting and minor characters should be quite different from your protagonist, for contrast. Start a diary for each important character to develop their voice and personality, and ensure none of them are closely modeled after you, the author, or your friends.

But don’t fully develop any very minor or “walk-on” characters, or readers will expect them to play a more significant role. In fact, it’s best not to name minor characters like cab drivers, cashiers, and servers, unless they play a bigger role.

9. To enter and win contests, make your character and story unique and memorable.

Try to jolt or awe the readers somehow, with a unique, enigmatic, even quirky or weird character; an unusual premise or situation; and an unexpected, even shocking revelation and plot twist.

10. Experiment – take a chance. 

Short stories can be edgier, darker, or more intense because they’re brief, and readers can tolerate something a little more extreme for a limited time.

WRITING STAGE:

11. Start with a compelling scene. 

Short stories need to grab and emotionally engage the readers right from the first paragraph. Don’t open with a description of the scenery or other setting. Also, don’t start with background information (backstory) on the character or an explanation of their world or situation.

12. Start right out in the head of your main character.

It’s best to use his name right in the first sentence to establish him as the point-of-view character, the one readers are supposed to identify with and root for. And let readers know really soon his rough age, situation, and role in the story world.

13. Put your character in motion right away. 

Having her interacting with someone else is usually best – much more dynamic than starting with a character alone, musing. Also, it’s best not to start with your character waking up or in an everyday situation or on the way to somewhere. That’s trite and too much of a slow lead-up for a short story – or any compelling story, for that matter.

14. Use close point of view. 

Get up close and personal with your lead character and tell the whole story from his point of view. Continually show his thoughts, feelings, reactions, and physical sensations. And take care not to show anyone else’s thoughts or inner reactions. You don’t have time or space to get into anyone else’s viewpoint in a short story. Show the attitudes and reactions of others through what the POV character perceives – their words, body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, actions, etc.

Even the narration should be expressed as your POV character’s thoughts and observations. Don’t intrude as the author to describe or explain anything to the readers in neutral language. You want to keep your readers immersed in your fictive dream, and interrupting as the author will burst the bubble of make-believe they crave.

15. Situate the reader early on. 

To avoid audience confusion and frustration, establish your main character immediately and clarify the situation and setting (time and place) within the first few paragraphs. On the first page, answer the four W’s: who, what, where, when. But as mentioned above, avoid starting with a long descriptive passage.

16. Jump right in with some tension in the first paragraphs. 

As I mentioned, there’s no room in a short story for a long, meandering lead-up to the main problem, or an extended description of the setting or the characters and their background. Disrupt the main character’s life in some way on the first page. As Kurt Vonnegut advises, in short fiction, start as close to the end as possible.

17. Show, don’t tell. 

Don’t use narration to tell your readers what happened – put them right in the middle of the scene, with lots of dialogue and action and reactions, in real time. And skip past transitional times and unimportant moments. Use a few words to go from one time or place to another, unless something important happens during the transition.

18. Your character needs to react. 

Continually show your character’s emotional and physical reactions, both inner and outer, to what’s going on around him. And to bring the character and scene to life on the page, evoke as many of the five senses as possible, not just sight and hearing. Scents or smells are especially powerful and evocative.

19. Every page needs tension of some sort. 

It might be overt, like an argument, or subtle, like inner resentments, disagreements, questioning, or anxiety. If everybody is in agreement, shake things up a little.

20. To add tension and intrigue, withhold key information, 

especially about character secrets or regrets, but hint at them to arouse reader curiosity. Then reveal critical info bit by bit, like a tantalizing striptease, as you go along.

21. Dialogue in fiction is like real conversation on steroids. 

Skip the yadda-yadda, blah-blah, “How are you? I’m fine. Nice weather,” etc., and add spark and tension to all your dialogue. And make the characters’ words and expressions sound as natural and authentic as you can. Avoid complete, correct sentences in dialogue. Use plenty of one or two-word questions and responses, evasive replies, abrupt changes of topics, and even a few silences.

22. Each character should speak differently, and not like the author. 

Each character’s word choices and speech patterns should reflect their gender, age, education, social standing, and personality. Don’t have your kids sounding like adults or your thugs sounding like university professors. Even men and women of similar cultural backgrounds and social standing speak differently. Read your dialogue out loud or role-play with a friend to make sure it sounds real, has tension, and moves along at a good clip.

23. Build the conflict to a riveting climax. 

Keep putting your protagonist in more hot water until the big “battle,” showdown, or struggle – whether it’s physical, psychological, or interpersonal. This is where they’re challenged to the max and have to draw on all their courage, wit, and resources to avoid defeat and/or reach their goals.

24. Brainstorm to devise a twist at the end. 

Create a surprise ending to delight readers – something that’s unexpected but makes sense in retrospect. Give the readers what they hope for, but not in a way they expect it.

25. Provide some satisfaction at the end. 

It’s not necessary to tie everything up in a neat little bow, but do give your readers some sense of resolution, some payout for their investment of time and effort in your story. As in novels, most readers want the character they’ve been rooting for all along to resolve at least some of their problems. But be sure the protagonist they’ve been identifying with succeeds through their own courage, determination, and resourcefulness, not through coincidence, luck, or a rescue by someone else. Keep your hero or heroine heroic. And don’t let your conclusion drag on – tie things up quickly.

26. Create a character arc. 

Your protagonist should have changed as a result of his recent struggles.

27. And a story arc – how are things different? 

How has the life of the main character changed as a result of what she’s just been through?

REVISION STAGE:

28. Hook ’em in right away. 

Now that you’ve got your whole story down, go back and grab the readers with an opening that zings. Write and rewrite your first line, opening paragraph, and first page. They need to be as gripping and as intriguing as you can make them, in order to compel the readers to read the rest of the story. Your first sentence and paragraph should arouse curiosity and raise questions that demand to be answered.

29. Cut to the chase. The short story requires discipline and editing. 

Trim down any long, convoluted sentences to reveal the essentials. Less is more, so make every word count. If a paragraph, sentence, or line of dialogue doesn’t advance the plot, add intrigue, or develop a character, take it out.

Also, use strong, evocative, specific nouns and verbs and cut back on supporting adjectives and adverbs. For example, instead of saying “He walked heavily” say “He stomped” or “He trudged.” Or instead of “She walked quietly,” say “She tiptoed” or “She crept.”

30. Make every element and every image count. 

Every significant detail you insert in the story should have some significance or some relevance later. If it doesn’t, take it out. Don’t show us a knife or special character skills, for example, if they don’t show up later and play an essential role. You have no room for filler or extraneous details in a compelling short story.

31. Try to make all descriptions do double duty. 

When you’re describing a character, for example, rather than listing their physical attributes and what they’re wearing, search for details that reveal their personality, their mood, their intentions, and their effect on those around them, and also the personality and attitude of the character who is observing them. And there’s no need to go into detail on everything they’re wearing. Paint in bold brush strokes and let readers fill in the details – or not, as they prefer.

32. Stay in character for all descriptions. 

Filter all descriptions through the attitude and mood of the main character. If your POV character’s aging father shows up at the door, don’t describe him neutrally and in detail as a brand new character. Show him as that character actually sees her own father.

Similarly, if a teenage boy walks into a room, don’t describe the space as an interior designer would see it – stay in his viewpoint. He is most concerned with why he entered that room, not all the details of what it looks like.

33. Pay attention to word count and other guidelines. 

As I mentioned earlier, short stories are generally between 1,000 and 7,500 words long, with the most popular length around 2,500 to 4,000 words. If you want to submit your short story to a website, magazine or contest, be sure to read their guidelines as to length, genre, language no-no’s, and so on. Also, for your own protection, do read the fine print to avoid giving away all rights to your story.

Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: WRITING A KILLER THRILLER, FIRE UP YOUR FICTION, and CAPTIVATE YOUR READERS, as well as two clickable time-saving e-resources, QUICK CLICKS: Spelling List and QUICK CLICKS: Word Usage. She has also organized two anthologies for charity: VOICES FROM THE VALLEYS – Stories and Poems about Life in BC’s Interior, and CHILDHOOD REGAINED – Stories of Hope for Asian Child Workers. You can find Jodie on her Amazon Author Page, at www.JodieRenner.com, and on Facebook.