Today I'm continuing my Wednesday feature in which I critique all or part of the first page of a novel, anonymously. You may also want to check out my first and second critiques, of the first pages of two different novels.
If you'd like me to critique the first page of your novel or short story, please send the first 400-500 words to me at j.renner.editing(at)hotmail(dot)com, and I'll critique the first 150-300 words here. If you have a prologue, don't send that - send the beginning of Chapter 1 instead.
Also, include the genre, setting (time and place), and a few sentences about the story and main character. Thanks.
The author who sent this to me called it a historical thriller, and it seems to be a travel adventure, too.
Here's the first page of the novel: (I've changed the name of the protagonist.)
Paris, December 1888
Strolling down the leafy Boulevard des Italiens, a patch of glittery snow on the cobblestones reminded Francois Beauchemin of the snow-capped mountains of the
Thanks for submitting this first page for a critique! I hope you find my comments and suggestions helpful. Who's up next?
Or, if you're tired of waiting for your first page to be critiqued here or you prefer to see the results in private, please contact me about critiquing your first page for $12. (PayPal takes $2, so that leaves me with $10.) Thanks! Alternatively, if you write a positive review on Amazon for one of my books below (please read the book first!), I'll put your name in a much smaller draw, so your chance of getting a free critique of your first page will be about 50%.
Jodie Renner, freelance fiction editor
Jodie has published two An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: Writing and Killer Thriller, a short e-book, and Style That Sizzles & Pacing for Power, which is available in paperback, as an e-book on Kindle, and in other e-book formats. And you don’t need to own an e-reader to purchase and enjoy e-books. You can download them to your computer, tablet, or smartphone.
For more info on Jodie's books and workshops, please visit her author website.