How to Slash Your Word Count by 20-40%

…and tighten up your story without losing any of the good stuff!   

by Jodie Renner, editor & author 

Have you been told your story looks promising or even intriguing, but your novel is way too long? Or maybe that it drags in places and needs tightening up? Today’s readers have shorter attention spans, and publishers don’t want to accept long novels from new writers, as they are so much more expensive to produce.

The current preferred length for thrillers, mysteries, and romance is around 70,000–90,000 words. Anything over 100K is definitely considered too long in most genres these days. Well-written, finely crafted fantasies and historical sagas can run longer, but newbie writers need to earn their stripes before attempting to sell a really long novel. Basically, every word needs to count. Every image and decision and action and reaction need to drive the story forward. There’s no place for rambling or waxing eloquent or self-indulgent preening in today’s popular fiction! Thrillers and other suspense novels especially need to be fast-paced page-turners.

Some strategies for cutting the word count. It’s best to proceed roughly in this order, using any of the tips that apply to your novel:

FIRST, CONSIDER:

~ IF YOU HAVE A WORDY, MEANDERING WRITING STYLE, TIGHTEN IT UP.

As you go along, condense long descriptions and lengthy, uninterrupted backstory; take out repetitions of all kinds (imagery, plot points, ideas, descriptions, phrases, words); delete or condense scenes that drag, have insufficient tension, or just don’t drive the story forward; and in general, make your scenes, paragraphs and sentences leaner. See Chapters 9, 10, 11, 14, and 15 of my writing guide Fire up Your Fiction.

START WITH BIG CHANGES: CUTS TO PLOT, CHARACTERS, AND STRUCTURE:

~ If your writing is quite tight but you have an intricate, involved plot, can you divide your really long novel into two or three in a series? But bear in mind that each book in the series needs its own plot arc and character arc – rising tension and some resolution, and a change/growth in the protagonist.

~ If the story doesn’t lend itself to being broken up, try making your plot less detailed. Cut or combine some of your less exciting plot points. Cut down on some of the “and then, and then, and then…”

~ Consider deleting one or two (or three) subplots, depending on how many you have.

~ Cut back on your cast of thousands. Too many characters can be confusing and annoying to the readers. Combine two or three characters into one. And don’t get into involved descriptions of minor, walk-on characters.

~ Consider deleting or condensing your first few pages or even all of chapter one. Maybe even chapter two, too. Take out the warm-up, where you’re revving your engine, and start your story later.

~ Take out almost all backstory (character history) in the first few chapters, and marble in just the essentials as you go along, on an “as-needed” basis only. This also helps incite curiosity and add intrigue.

~ Delete (or revise) chapters that don’t have enough tension and change, that don’t drive the story forward. Add any essential bits to other chapters. (Save deleted stuff on another file.) Or condense two chapters and combine them into one.

~ Delete or condense scenes that don’t have enough tension or change, or add much to the plot or characterization. Condense transitions scenes or parts where scenes drag, eliminating the boring bits. (Take out the parts that readers skip over.) See my article “Every Scene Needs Conflict and a Change" or Chapter 4 of my book, Writing a Killer Thriller.

~ Take out any weak links, remnants from earlier versions, stuff that just doesn’t fit there anymore (if it ever did).

THEN EVALUATE YOUR WRITING STYLE AND THE INTERNAL STRUCTURE OF YOUR CHAPTERS AND SCENES:

~ Cut back on rambling or overly detailed descriptions of settings. With today’s access to TV, movies, the internet, and travel, we no longer need the kind of detail readers of 100 years ago needed to understand the setting, so it's usually better to just paint with broad brush strokes and leave out most of the little details. Also, don’t describe the setting in neutral (boring) language. Filter any descriptions of surroundings through the eyes, ears, attitude, and mood of your point of view character. 

~ Same with character descriptions – no need to go into great detail. Give the most obvious and interesting details, and let the readers fill in the rest to their heart’s content. See my article “Character Descriptions – Detailed or Sketchy?”

~ Don’t repeat info. Don't have a character relating the details to another character about something that happened that the readers witnessed first-hand and already know about. Skip over it with a phrase like “She told him how she’d gotten injured.” 

~ Start scenes and chapters later and end them sooner. Cut out the warm-up and cool-down.

~ Skip over transitional times when not much happens. Replace with one or two sentences, or just a phrase, like “Three days later,”.

~ Eliminate or severely condense any “explanations” on subjects. Take out or condense any info dumps, self-indulgent rambling on pet topics, “teaching” sections, or rants. Keep these to the bare minimum, and give the info from a character’s point of view, with attitude, or through a lively conversation or heated argument. See Chapter 8 of Fire up Your Fiction.

~ Eliminate repetitions and redundancies. Just say it once – no need to say it again in a different way. You may think that will help emphasize your point, but it actually has the opposite effect. For more on this, see Chapter 9 of Fire up Your Fiction.

FINALLY, TIGHTEN YOUR WRITING TO CREATE LEANER PARAGRAPHS AND SENTENCES:

~ Try to delete one paragraph per page (or two); one sentence (or more) in each paragraph; and at least one word, preferably more, in each sentence. Cut out the deadwood!

~ Do a search for all those words that are just taking up space or weakening your prose, and delete most of them, like there is, there was, it is, it was, that, now, then, suddenly, immediately, and qualifiers like very, quite, kind of, sort of, somewhat, extremely, etc. Wherever you have "and then," use one or the other, not both. 

Also, take out any other extra words that are cluttering up your sentences like “located”: Not: “The cafe was located on Main Street,” but: “The cafe was on Main Street.” And delete redundant add-ons like “in color,” “in size,” “in time,” and “in number.” Not, “The car was red in color” but “The car was red” or "the red car." For more tips on streamlining your writing, see Chs. 14 and 15 of Fire up Your Fiction.

~ For better flow, condense prepositional phrases: Change “the captain of the team” to “the team captain”; change “in the vicinity of” to “near,” etc. For more, see Chs. 14 and 15 of Fire up Your Fiction.

For more tips, with examples, for tightening your writing, see "Cut the Clutter and Streamline Your Writing."

For more tips on streamlining your writing and cutting out the deadwood, see Chapters 14 and 15 of Fire up Your Fiction.

Writers – Do you have any other ideas for reducing your word count?

Also, see my articles “How to Save a Bundle on Editing Costs” and “Honing Your Craft.”

Click HERE for options to receive email alerts of new posts published on this blog.

Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: WRITING A KILLER THRILLER, FIRE UP YOUR FICTION, and CAPTIVATE YOUR READERS, as well as two clickable time-saving e-resources, QUICK CLICKS: Spelling List and QUICK CLICKS: Word Usage. She has also organized two anthologies for charity: VOICES FROM THE VALLEYS – Stories and Poems about Life in BC’s Interior, and CHILDHOOD REGAINED – Stories of Hope for Asian Child Workers. You can find Jodie on her Amazon Author Page, at www.JodieRenner.com, and on Facebook. 

Cut the Clutter and Streamline Your Writing

- Part I  

Excerpted from Fire up Your Fiction - An Editor's Guide to Writing Compelling Stories

by Jodie Renner, editor & author 

In my editing of fiction manuscripts, it seems one of my most important jobs is to help my clients streamline their writing so the ideas flow more smoothly.

I’m talking about those extra words that aren’t needed to enhance the mood, plot or characterization, or bring the story to life; the clutter of words that are getting in the way of the imagery and story and slowing down the pace.

Think of a flower garden that is stifled by weeds to the point where you can’t see the flowers. Or a cluttered basement or workshop, where you can’t find the things you really need. The good stuff gets lost, or at least difficult to find among all the junk.

So once you’ve gotten through your first draft, it’s important to go back in and cut down on wordiness and redundancies in order to make your story more compelling, pick up the pace, and increase the tension and sense of urgency.

But of course, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water—no need to make your style so laconic that you’ve sucked the life and voice out of it. Keep all those juicy words and phrases that set the tone, portray your voice and attitude, add atmosphere, provide sensory details, deepen your characters, add to the suspense and intrigue, and so on. Just cut out the excess blah-blah and leave the gems behind.

Sol Stein calls this important part of the editorial process “liposuctioning the flab.” As he says, “Flab is the enemy of every writer. Superfluous words and phrases soften prose. […] Flab, if not removed, can have a deleterious effect on the impatient reader, who will pay less attention to each word and begin to skip….” After you go through and cut the flab, the remaining text will be much stronger and more compelling.

Here’s some clutter to look for and expel, so the readers have nothing between them and your story:

First, take out any words, sentences, or paragraphs that are unnecessary, impede the flow of ideas, and slow the pace down. Search and destroy all those little words and phrases that just clutter up your sentences, adding nothing.

Here are some examples from my editing. I’ve changed the details to provide anonymity.

Before: They slept each night in the cheap motels located less than a mile’s drive from the interstate.

After: They slept each night in cheap motels just off the interstate.

Before: “You must never touch anything in this room if I don’t tell you to or if I haven’t given permission.”

After: “You must never touch anything in this room without my permission.”

Even better: “Do not touch anything in this room without my permission.”

Or even: "Do not touch anything in this room."


Before: The captain often asked a question of his men without really wanting their opinion. It was his way of providing a sense of democracy to his leadership style, when in actuality there was none.

After: The captain often posed questions of his men without really wanting their opinion. It was his way of pretending his leadership style was democratic.


Before: Jason motioned to a particular number in the middle of the spreadsheet that Tom currently had on the computer screen.

After: Jason motioned to a number in the middle of the spreadsheet on the screen.

Or: Jason pointed to a number in the middle of the spreadsheet.

Or even better: Jason pointed to a number on the spreadsheet.


Take out empty, filler words like “It was,” “there was,” and “there were”:

Before: There was a long scar just above both eyebrows that gave him a sinister look.

After: A long scar above his eyebrows gave him a sinister look.

Even better: A long scar on his forehead gave him a sinister look.


Unnecessarily wordy: I headed down a rickety set of wooden steps to the basement. There was a dim light ahead in the hallway. To the right there were cardboard boxes stacked high. To the left, there was a closed door with a padlock. Suddenly, I heard muffled sounds. There was someone upstairs.

Much tighter: I headed down a rickety set of wooden steps to the dimly lit basement. To the right, cardboard boxes were stacked high. To the left, I saw a closed door with a padlock. Suddenly, I heard muffled sounds. Someone was upstairs.

I could play around with this some more, but you get the picture.

So, avoid cluttering up sentences and paragraphs with little words and phrases that aren’t needed and impede the natural flow of ideas:

Before: Admiral Paul McLean strode into the room. A four-star admiral who currently was commander of the US Special Operations Command located in Tampa, Florida, McLean directed all the Special Forces throughout the military from the Green Berets to the Navy SEALs.

After: Admiral Paul McLean strode into the room. A four-star admiral and commander of US Special Operations in Tampa, McLean directed all the Special Forces, from the Green Berets to the Navy SEALs.

In Part II, we’ll examine more ways of streamlining your language to make your message more compelling, such as cutting way back on adverbs, reducing the number of adjectives, avoiding repetitions, and trimming or deleting paragraphs that don’t drive your story forward.

Click HERE for options to receive email alerts of new posts published on this blog.

Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: WRITING A KILLER THRILLER, FIRE UP YOUR FICTION, and CAPTIVATE YOUR READERS, as well as two clickable time-saving e-resources, QUICK CLICKS: Spelling List and QUICK CLICKS: Word Usage. She has also organized two anthologies for charity: VOICES FROM THE VALLEYS – Stories and Poems about Life in BC’s Interior, and CHILDHOOD REGAINED – Stories of Hope for Asian Child Workers. You can find Jodie on her Amazon Author Page, at www.JodieRenner.com, and on Facebook. 

Resource:
Sol Stein, Stein on Writing

Also, see Jodie's article, "Clear, Concise, Powerful Nonfiction Writing." - See more at: http://crimefictioncollective.blogspot.ca/2012/04/cut-clutter-and-streamline-your-writing.html#sthash.zYdkz4YA.dpuf

Resource:
Sol Stein, Stein on Writing

Also, see Jodie's article, "Clear, Concise, Powerful Nonfiction Writing." - See more at: http://crimefictioncollective.blogspot.ca/2012/04/cut-clutter-and-streamline-your-writing.html#sthash.zYdkz4YA.dpuf

REVISING, EDITING, AND POLISHING YOUR NOVEL

by Jodie Renner, editor & author

This is one of three popular articles I wrote and took as handouts to the panel I was in called

"How to be a Masterful Editor - of Your Own Work" at Thrillerfest in New York in July 2013.

See the article below, and scroll down for links to the other two related articles on revision, self-editing, cutting word count, and saving on editing costs.

Congratulations! You’ve finally finished the first draft of your novel! Give yourself a huge pat on the back and go out and celebrate! Then put it away for at least two weeks while you concentrate on other things, before going back and starting on revisions.

Here’s a logical, workable approach to the revision process that produces good results:

1. After you’ve finished your first draft, put your story away and concentrate on other things for a few weeks or even a month. Let the story percolate in your subconscious for a while.

2. Meanwhile, share some or all of your story with a critique group or send/give the manuscript to volunteer “beta readers” — smart, savvy people who read a lot of fiction in your genre. Tell them that at this point you’re looking for big issues only — parts where they felt excited, confused, curious, delighted, scared, worried, bored, etc. For suggestions and a list of possible questions, see my blog post, “15 Questions for Your Beta Readers -- and to focus your own revisions” on The Kill Zone blog.

3. After your break of a few weeks or so, collect the reactions of your volunteer readers or critique group. Go through them and note any that you really like; perhaps ask for clarification of suggestions or more details.

4. Save a new version of your manuscript under the current date and go through the whole thing, revising on-screen for big-picture changes only. Incorporate any new suggestions you like, and re-save each new version as you go along, using the current date in the file name.

5. Big-picture editing: Reread your manuscript from start to finish, making separate notes only on big-picture changes you’d like to make, such as plot, structure, characterization, point of view, pacing, etc. Delete or condense any boring scenes. Maybe start some scenes and chapters later and end earlier, or change the order of some of your scenes or chapters. 

– Does your basic premise stand up to scrutiny? Do all of the major plot points make sense? Do you notice any inconsistencies in timing, setting, character or plot? Consider rearranging some chapters or scenes, or changing the chapter breaks to earlier or later.

– Is your opening compelling enough? Clear enough? (See my blog posts on your first pages: “Act First, Explain Later” and “Those Critical First Five Pages,” on The Thrill Begins blog.)

– Are your characters complex enough? Is your protagonist charismatic and likeable but with inner conflict? (See “Creating Compelling Characters” on The Thrill Begins blog.) Do you have too many characters? Is your point of view all over the place? Anchor it in one of the main characters most of the time. (See my articles on Point of View, POV 101, POV 102, & POV 103, on DP Lyle’s blog, The Writer’s Forensics Blog.)

– Does the story drag in places? Is there enough conflict and tension? Suspense and intrigue? (See my book Writing a Killer Thriller.) Revise, condense or delete any scenes or even chapters that lack tension and intrigue and don’t drive the story forward. 

6. Find your (or create a) story outline and “to-do list” or plan of action and update it as you go along, taking into account advice from your beta readers or critique group, as well as your own ideas. Check out my post, "Creating a Scene Outline for Your Novel" on The Kill Zone blog.

7. Once you’ve done that, send your revised story to a freelance editor, or share it with your critique group or a few more volunteer readers – preferably ones who haven’t read an earlier version. 

8. Once you get feedback from beta readers, change the font of your manuscript to one you really like and print it up to read, rather than on the screen. A different medium will help you look at it with fresh eyes.  Also, find a comfortable spot in a different setting, away from your computer or normal working place to read it. All three of these little tricks will help you see the manuscript as a reader instead of as a writer.

9. Stylistic editing: Now go back to the beginning and start editing for wordiness, voice, style, and flow. Streamline your writing to make every word count. Take out whole sentences and paragraphs that don’t add anything new or drive the story forward. Slash excess wording, repetitions, or overexplaining. Take out unnecessary little words, most adverbs and many adjectives, eliminate clichés, and pump up your nouns and verbs to bring the action to life. See my book Fire up Your Fiction for lots of revision tips with before-and-after examples.

10. Dialogue: Read just the dialogue out loud, maybe role-playing with a buddy or two. Do the conversations sound natural or stilted? Does each character sound different, or do they all sound like the author? Amp up the tension and cut down on any empty phrases, overly wordy monologues, stilted, overly formal language, complete sentences, too-perfect grammar, etc. See my blog post “Writing Effective Dialogue” on The Thrill Begins blog.

11. Proofreading: Now go through and do a basic copy edit and proofread for grammar, spelling, and punctuation, or get someone who’s really good at English – or better yet, a freelance fiction editor or proofreader – to do it.

12. Change the font to a different one, for example Georgia, and print up the manuscript, double-spaced. Sit down with it and read it through once with a piece of paper under the line and keep moving the paper down the page. Then read it out loud, crossing out excess words and sentences, and noting changes and suggestions between the lines, in the margins, or on the back.

13. Open up the screen version and add these new changes into your document.

14. Repeat last two steps as needed, until your manuscript is compelling and polished, before sending it off to a literary agent or acquiring editor, or self-publishing. This whole revision process could easily take several months. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by putting it out too soon.

15. Better yet, at some point along this process, send your manuscript to a reputable freelance fiction editor so you can get a professional, unbiased look at it from someone familiar with the genre and up on current fiction-writing techniques, reader preferences and industry standards. 

Copyright © Jodie Renner, July 2013

Is your book too long? Check out these concrete tips: “How to Slash Your Word Count by 20-50% – without losing any of the good stuff!” 

Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: FIRE UP YOUR FICTION, CAPTIVATE YOUR READERS, and WRITING A KILLER THRILLER, as well as two clickable time-saving e-resources, QUICK CLICKS: Spelling List and QUICK CLICKS: Word Usage. She has also organized and edited two anthologies. Website: https://www.jodierenner.com/, Facebook, Amazon Author Page.